I was adopted at birth. I knew that I was adopted since I can remember. It never really bothered me, yet the fact that my birth mother didn’t want me was always at the back of my mind. I may not have felt like it, but I did define myself by that unwantedness.

I became a Christian when I was a child. Shortly after that my parents became Christians as well, and shortly after that my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. Being a young child I had no idea how to react. Church had taught me to pray and “let go and let God”. That’s what I did. I had so much faith that the God who promised would never leave me would heal my mother.

I remember the night that my pastor woke me and told me that my mother had just passed. I was devistated. It felt for the second time in my life I was abandoned by my mother and now, for the first time, my God. It was then that I decided if God didn’t want anything to do with me then I don’t want anything to do with him.

I hated God after that. There’s no other way to put it other than hate. I felt betrayed, yet I kept up the charade of going to church, worshipping, going on trips, and everything else. I was going through the motions, but it was all empty and meaningless.

Then one day my father gave me an odd letter. A note was written on it telling my parents to give it to me when I could understand it. Curious, I opened it. Inside was a picture of a woman who I had never seen before and a letter from my birth mother. She wrote about how much she loved me even though she would never meet me. She talked about how she was just a cashier at a grocery store, and that she would never be able to provide the life that she wanted for me. Lastly, she said that giving me up was the hardest decision of her life.

That’s when I lost it. I started weeping then and there because in that moment God’s love became more real to me then it ever had been. Just like how my mother gave up her only son so that I may have a better life; God had given up his only Son so that I may live a full life. They both did it because they loved me even though they had no reason to. Now I know that if God loves me that much then he would never even think of leaving me. The best part is that God loves everyone that much, and Destination Church is dedicated to showing them that love.